how much of my 2021 trajectory matched the goals and desires I had for it in 2020
the stuff I did that wasn’t necessarily part of my Goals list
2021 was very busy. So busy that I’m still kind of trying to figure out everything I planned to do for December because there’s so much left undone and 2021 is just a little over a week from ending. I took most of December off and if you’re wondering how scary my backlog is… it’s a whole nightmare.
And I still have another video – this one on the state of racism in fandom in 2021 – left to plan, record, and upload next week on top of planning content on like four different fronts for the first quarter of 2022! Argh!
Below the cut is a version of my script for this, but it’s not a 1:1 ratio, some things I adlibbed in the process of recording and while I love talking, I also cannot stand the sound of my own voice so… I cannot go back through and add what’s missing. Sorry! Youtube has subtitles but they’re auto-subtitled so that might not work well… Hopefully in 2022 I’ll get a job that’ll allow me to afford to pay for subtitles and transcripts regularly but since I don’t have a job at all… lol
(And we will be digging into that slippery slope to racism in fandom at a later point because uh… a lot of the gays and girlies in fandom are openly white supremacists and we need to talk more about that and how they’re purposefully poisoning the well of discourse in fandom.)
September was super busy and I’m really satisfied with everything I’ve done. Once again, half of it can’t be revealed yet because it’s stuff I did for upcoming work, but the other half of it has been… pretty great content dropped on my website and Patreon.
The biggest thing that happened in September was that I attended Fiyah Magazine’s Fiyahcon 2021 – and had a great time attending and speaking on panels. I also… won The 2021 Ignyte Critics Award??
August went by so fast that I don’t feel like I was able to get everything done.
Scratch that, I know I didn’t get everything done. Website content got completed because it was largely completed in July, but then Patreon content got drafted or recorded and I didn’t polish or publish. But to quote Dulé Hill in Holes:
First, July was stressful but also… clearly more chill than June.
I think there was less direct harassment – that I saw, at least – in July. I’m sure it’s still out there because I’m basically a non-person to multiple fandoms and that justifies the weird and wrong shit people say and do to me, but… I didn’t see it very much this time. I didn’t even block that many people this month so that’s pretty nice. I hate feeling like I have to cut myself off from people. (Which is very funny because I had to make a policy change on my website that does cut me off from people! More on that at the bottom.)
The main stresses I had to deal with were familial or health related (and again, I really need a job with benefits), but they were manageable. I got to spend two weeks with the wee niece Meems here with me and while I orbit her when she’s here, she also helped me with a ton more work than I was expecting. (And yes she will be compensated fairly for her work.)
And because of the lack of harassment along with Meems’ help as a mini research buddy, I was able to do a lot this past month.
I did not get a lot done in April but also… wow did I get a lot done in April.
Yes, I got 16 different blog pieces out – including a stellar guest post about Alison from Doctor Who that I’m still pleased with – but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I did much of everything. Only like half of what I’d planned to put out actually made it out and I’m bummed because it was going to be great stuff… but I have to remember that I still had sixteen posts go out.
This is the first time I’ve ever been shortlisted for an award (despite my initial hopes considering the massive volume of my work in 2020… a Hugo Award nomination for Best Fan Writer clearly did not happen).
It means a ton to me because I just… haven’t felt like I was getting the respect and acknowledgement I know I’ve earned through my hard work on topics few other people are covering about fandoms and media. (Like one thing I included in my “hey nominate me for a Hugo” post was my coverage of what wasn’t covered in reviews of Docile.)
I’ve been at this for… a while. I started my site in 2015 but was talking about representation and issues with fandom approaching it from 2010/2011. And there’s always been just this overwhelming volume of pushback that was disproportionately massive when compared to the fact that people went out of their way to ignore that I existed or to misrepresent what I was saying. (Forever bitter about how June 2020 was the first time a lot of people realized that racism in fandom was a problem… and how they still made me into a bigger one.)
Anyway, yes, I was disheartened at the lack of recognition in the face of horrifying amounts of harassment I was getting at the same time BUT being on the shortlist means a lot to me. I do a ton of work covering fandom as fairly as I can manage and in engaging critically with media, being careful to acknowledge my own biases where they come into play.
It’s so overwhelming to see my hard work start to get recognized publicly by such an incredible magazine and I’m looking forward to the future and in celebrating all the really cool people who were nominated and who ultimately win!
If you want to vote for me (and you know… get your friends/interested nerds you know to also vote for me…
Voting for the IGNYTE Awards is open from now until May 21st @ 11:59PM EST.
I don’t have my calendar up yet for May. I’m trying to estimate what the month may even look like because where March dragged along so slowly, April zoomed on by. There’s still so much to do and no idea when I’ll have time to do it all
Plus… we have a whole ass pandemic, malevolent people in power trying to burn the US to the ground, and fascists about to fuck everything up for all of us so like… who the fuck knows what the future will bring.
So for May, I promise nothing except that I’ll try my best.
Because that’s better than the alternative… my worst.
So bear with me because these are trying and terrifying timew, and if I get something resembling a schedule for anything outside of Patreon (where my goal is to post on Tuesdays and Thursdays), I’ll post it!
In the meantime, here’s what’s I’m going to try my best to get out for y’all in May as long as the world cooperates.
At this point, everyone I know is trying to figure out how they’re going to handle the COVID-19 crisis. Routines have been… rerouted. A lot of folks have lost their jobs, including… me. If y’all remember, at the start of March, my one boss was like “we’re downsizing and trying to save our skins so you’re getting cut”.
Well, it’s the start of April and my time (of unemployment, beyond some freelance article editing and uploading for them) has come.
As the job was the first time that I’d had reliable health insurance in four years and I was basically the breadwinner for my family… You bet I’m panicking.
But I’m trying to channel all of that nervous energy into a positive outlet… creating content and building my brand and audience further! Because writing is the one way I have been able to express myself and make money enough to live on to an extent!
So, barring any complications by the pandemic holding us frozen in our homes (those of us who are at home), here’s what’s on the schedule for April.
I’m putting things together for March and this is what my schedule currently looks like!
Three of the things are catch-ups (2 for my site and 1 for Patreon) but everything else is fresh content that is NOT carried over from last month. The blog is going to have a fair amount of k-pop, but Patreon this month is going to primarily be about fandom and a return to my Urban Fantasy 101 series.
(There will be some surprise light and fun k-pop content because I live for it though!)
I haven’t decided what my next podcast episode will be about – I’m thinking about Castlevania since the new season drops in two days – or what the fiction or poetry will be, but I’m literally leaning towards polishing the first two parts of a poem I started about privilege…
Day job continues to be A Lot and I just picked up some freelance work since I have to try to save up for a potential move/the inevitable moment when this job no longer exists so I will be Supremely Busy. But please feel free to nudge me extra hard if/when you need me.
I’m honestly NOT ignoring anyone, but I am also really scatterbrained and don’t focus well on a good day, much less the days I’ve been having where all I do is work and write.
Thank you once again for supporting me and I hope that you’ll all enjoy my March content!<3
You may have noticed that while I went “wow I’m going
to make a lot of content”, the reality was that… I did not do that. If you
don’t follow me on Twitter, you might not have picked up on why.
Unfortunately, when stressed, I tend to shut down and my
output slows to a clear crawl. And I spent a huge chunk of October stressed
beyond belief. Between the latest reminder that Black fans critical of anything
aren’t welcome in fandom, the family car getting multiple flats and
getting towed, and some renewed stress at Day Job (thanks to tasks I’m working
on and stuff I’m trying to optimize) that I’m still trying to overcome, I was
already slower than usual despite my desire to be Super Organized.
Then my birthday happened on the twenty-fourth and while I
had an amazing time, I then promptly got sick. The reason why y’all are getting
this post on the fourth instead of the first is because this is the first time
since about the 25th or 26th that I’ve honestly felt up to
sitting in front of a computer and putting my schedule together for November. As
recently as last night, I had a debilitating sinus headache and couldn’t
breathe through my nose.
But part of the way through my work day today, the stars seemed
to align and right around the time when I threw my back out around lunch, my
cold seemed to clear up.
You can probably tell from the
spoopy header I made just for this, but October is my favorite month of the
I’m gonna be real here: it’s Halloween
month and Birthmonth wrapped up into one super spooky package and I
always tend to go overboard with everything. It’s what we all deserve, after
all. October is the real spiritual start of fall here in the US (sorry September)
and I put my all into being the embodiment of that spooky, post-summer