October was… a lot.

In a good way. 

Mostly. 

Aside from dealing with racists empowered by the latest round of “if you have any criticisms of AO3 – including it lacking anti racism policy and its unevenly applied harassment policies – you are a literal nazi burning books and racism in fandom is necessary to fandom itself” shit that lasted the usual two weeks before racist weenies went back to fighting with teenagers on the internet, things in October were… pretty good actually. 

(And we will be digging into that slippery slope to racism in fandom at a later point because uh… a lot of the gays and girlies in fandom are openly white supremacists and we need to talk more about that and how they’re purposefully poisoning the well of discourse in fandom.)

August went by so fast that I don’t feel like I was able to get everything done.

Scratch that, I know I didn’t get everything done. Website content got completed because it was largely completed in July, but then Patreon content got drafted or recorded and I didn’t polish or publish. But to quote Dulé Hill in Holes:

First, July was stressful but also… clearly more chill than June.

I think there was less direct harassment – that I saw, at least – in July. I’m sure it’s still out there because I’m basically a non-person to multiple fandoms and that justifies the weird and wrong shit people say and do to me, but… I didn’t see it very much this time. I didn’t even block that many people this month so that’s pretty nice. I hate feeling like I have to cut myself off from people. (Which is very funny because I had to make a policy change on my website that does cut me off from people! More on that at the bottom.)

The main stresses I had to deal with were familial or health related (and again, I really need a job with benefits), but they were manageable. I got to spend two weeks with the wee niece Meems here with me and while I orbit her when she’s here, she also helped me with a ton more work than I was expecting. (And yes she will be compensated fairly for her work.)

And because of the lack of harassment along with Meems’ help as a mini research buddy, I was able to do a lot this past month.

I did not get a lot done in April but also… wow did I get a lot done in April. 

Yes, I got 16 different blog pieces out – including a stellar guest post about Alison from Doctor Who that I’m still pleased with – but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I did much of everything. Only like half of what I’d planned to put out actually made it out and I’m bummed because it was going to be great stuff… but I have to remember that I still had sixteen posts go out. 

I’m still at almost 60k words on my site for 2021 so far. I had the two Fan Service posts in Teen Vogue (“How Ableism Can Manifest in Fandom—and How to End It” and “What “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” Teaches Us About Fandom Misogynoir” ). I did (sort of) two interviews. I’m officially someone who interviews other people despite how anxious that makes me. I’m one of the finalists for the Ignyte Awards’ Critics Award! (Go vote for me please!)

It’s not like I really sat here and did nothing in April.But my brain…It thinks otherwise. 

February was… a lot. 0/10 do not recommend.

While the harassment I’ve been detailing for months continues to escalate (now strangers are claiming I’ve done the, direct harm and that “PickMe” truly is a racist/misogynistic slur while coming for my writing gig in the name of fandom), I also got… a lot done?

Like anxiety spiraling as creeps on the internet try to destroy your life over shipping really does make you get shit done. Who would’ve thought the sleepless nights were good for something!)

In December 2020, I posted 30 posts on my website and four posts on Patreon.

21 of the posts on my website made up a three-week streak of content and that three-week streak is pretty much why I stalled out on the Patreon posts.

I… won’t be doing that again on the fly.

2021 is gonna be slow to start when it comes to content because I am tired.

I am burnt the fuck out.

So here’s the thing about May:

I don’t have my calendar up yet for May. I’m trying to estimate what the month may even look like because where March dragged along so slowly, April zoomed on by. There’s still so much to do and no idea when I’ll have time to do it all

Plus… we have a whole ass pandemic, malevolent people in power trying to burn the US to the ground, and fascists about to fuck everything up for all of us so like… who the fuck knows what the future will bring.

So for May, I promise nothing except that I’ll try my best.

Because that’s better than the alternative… my worst.

So bear with me because these are trying and terrifying timew, and if I get something resembling a schedule for anything outside of Patreon (where my goal is to post on Tuesdays and Thursdays), I’ll post it!

In the meantime, here’s what’s I’m going to try my best to get out for y’all in May as long as the world cooperates.

I’m putting things together for March and this is what my schedule currently looks like!

Three of the things are catch-ups (2 for my site and 1 for Patreon) but everything else is fresh content that is NOT carried over from last month. The blog is going to have a fair amount of k-pop, but Patreon this month is going to primarily be about fandom and a return to my Urban Fantasy 101 series.

(There will be some surprise light and fun k-pop content because I live for it though!)

I haven’t decided what my next podcast episode will be about – I’m thinking about Castlevania since the new season drops in two days – or what the fiction or poetry will be, but I’m literally leaning towards polishing the first two parts of a poem I started about privilege…

Day job continues to be A Lot and I just picked up some freelance work since I have to try to save up for a potential move/the inevitable moment when this job no longer exists so I will be Supremely Busy. But please feel free to nudge me extra hard if/when you need me.

I’m honestly NOT ignoring anyone, but I am also really scatterbrained and don’t focus well on a good day, much less the days I’ve been having where all I do is work and write.

Thank you once again for supporting me and I hope that you’ll all enjoy my March content!<3

PS: if you’re at the $10 Tier on Patreon, don’t forget that an hour of my time on your project is a perk of your patronage!