Bond Girl: GoldenEye

never had me

This week’s Bond Girl post is about my favorite Bond film in Pierce Brosnan’s run: GoldenEye.

Here’s an excerpt:

Alec Trevelyan betrays Bond (and MI6) while his own feelings of betrayal drive him. Of course. He has the requisite tragic backstory (the death of his parents at his father’s hand in what Trevelyan sees is a direct relation to British betrayal of the Lienz Cossacks to the Russians after World War II.)

Following the dramatic reveal that Trevelyan is in fact alive and well, James Bond feels betrayed because his close friend not only faked his death, but also has decided to betray the country that they grew up in. It’s such a mess.

Add to that how Trevelyan is certainly dealing with jealousy of Bond and you’ve got this tangled web of emotions and everyone’s inability to communicate before going off to enact their massive plans for revenge.

Seriously, there’s a point where Trevelyan sneers at Bond about finding forgiveness in the arms of willing women “for all the ones you’ve failed to protect.” I feel like it’s an especially cutting dig because Trevelyan most certainly would’ve known about Bond’s wife so this perhaps is a way that we’re getting an oblique reference to James Bond’s dead wife Tracy.

Either way, Trevelyan isn’t playing fair.

If you liked this and want to read more about what I liked and disliked about the film, check out Bond Girl: Re-Watching and Re-Evaluating GoldenEye on The Mary Sue site! And comment (if you want) or feel free to chat me up on Twitter about everyone’s slightly sleazy favorite man of international espionage!

Bond Girl: Octopussy

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This week’s Bond Girl post is about the awkwardly-named Octopussy. 

Here’s an excerpt:

I love how take-charge Octopussy is in this. She’s powerful in this film, her gang of smugglers immense enough to fill an entire palace. I think that while her character is superficially similar to that of Pussy Galore, she gets to do more. She’s not just a smuggler.

She takes care of the women that come to her and has an empire built up that has many avenues for them to be successful. These avenues range from owning hotels to carnivals and her famous circus. After the death of her father – a man that Bond went after on orders from his superiors for stealing gold – she turned what could’ve been a chance to spend her life trying to get revenge into a successful life that has her as a powerful, wealthy, and feared name in the world. She made smuggling her profession and proved that crime really does pay if you’re good at it.

If you liked this and want to read more about what I liked , check out Bond Girl: Re-Watching and Re-Evaluating Octopussy on The Mary Sue site! And comment (if you want) or feel free to chat me up on Twitter about everyone’s slightly sleazy favorite man of international espionage!

Bond Girl: For Your Eyes Only

This week’s Bond Girl post focuses on the 1981 James Bond film For Your Eyes Only. Here’s an excerpt: For Your Eyes Only isn’t like that and that’s surprising. This is the twelfth Eon Productions Bond film and Roger Moore’s fifth. Like the two films before it, it pulls from different sources and doesn’t have one Fleming […]

Bond Girl: Moonraker

ScreenHunter_102 Jun. 21 19.28

This week’s Bond Girl recap was about the strangely unsatisfying Moonraker.

This movie is just very derivative for me and it’s not a good feeling because James Bond movies are two hours long.

Two hours are a lot of time to spend watching overused tropes in a plot that we basically explored in the last movie. This is honestly the first of Moore’s movies where I kept checking the clock and hoping that it was almost over because it was in turns boring and annoying.

How is this one of the highest grossing Bond films?

To read more, head on over to The Mary Sue for Bond Girl: Re-Watching and Re-Evaluating and give it a read. There you’ll find snark, complaining about the major holes in the villain’s master plan, and the odd historical reference.

Feel free to comment too (because that would be awesome!!).

And as always,  come and talk my ear off about James Bond movies over on twitter!

Bond Girl: The Spy Who Loved Me

bond-and-amasova

This might be my favorite James Bond movie.

At the very least, it’s definitely one of the best Bond movies in Roger Moore’s run.

It definitely has my favorite Bond villain and one of the most amazing Bond girls in the entire franchise. It also has the best shark-related scene in the franchise – a scene that blows the one from Thunderball out of the water.

The Spy Who Loved Me is the tenth film in Eon Production’s James Bond series and Roger Moore’s third film in the franchise. The only thing it has in common with Fleming’s original novel is the title and perhaps a few henchmen made larger than life for the film. The Spy Who Loved Me has a storyline that involves billionaire megalomaniac Karl Stromberg (Curd Jürgens), who plans to destroy the world and create a new and perfect world under the sea. Of course, a plan that strange can’t be allowed to stand and so James Bond teams up with Russian agent Major Anya Amasova/Agent Triple X (Barbara Bach) to take him down.

To read more, head on over to The Mary Sue for Bond Girl: Re-Watching and Re-Evaluating The Spy Who Loved Me and feel free to talk my ear off about James Bond movies over on twitter!

Ranking Bond: Sean Connery

Content Warnings For: racism, sexism, sexual assault as “seduction”, implied violence against women


Sean Connery was in six of twenty three official James Bond films and originated the role. Charming and often brutish, he exemplified Fleming’s superspy and made it hard for any other Bond actor to measure up. Over the past two months, I’ve had a lot of time to get reacquainted with Sean Connery’s Bond. There’ve been movies that I loved and movies that I hated and what better way to get the point across is there than to use a list.

This was super hard because there weren’t any of his movies that I outright hated. Most of his movies were good aside from a few things that pissed me off and so I’ve had one hell of a hard time putting them in order.

So here’s my ranking for Sean Connery’s Bond movies with a focus on the good, the bad, and the moments that made me go “what the heck is going on here”.


Read More »

Bond Girl: Diamonds Are Forever

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Hey it’s Monday night and that means my next Bond Girl piece has gone up on TheMarySue!

If you like James Bond, my grouching about media, or the chance to revisit old-school film franchises, consider checking out this week’s review where I try to send Sean Connery off in the best way.

Check out an excerpt here:

I’m going to miss Sean Connery’s Bond showing up in the Eon Production films, but Diamonds Are Forever is basically the best movie on which to send him out. It exemplifies all the good and bad about Connery’s Bond films and the franchise as a whole. I definitely lost track of how many times I watched the film, but it was definitely worth it.

Diamonds Are Forever is the seventh film in the franchise and Sean Connery’s sixth showing in the role of James Bond. The film focuses on Bond’s attempts at sniffing out and then stopping a diamond smuggling ring that is connected to Blofeld and SPECTRE. It’s up to Bond to stop Blofeld from using the smuggled diamonds in the creation of a massive laser set to destroy major cities in the world. It’s the kind of over-the-top, cartoonish plot that should seem ridiculous, but it works for me.

If you liked that and want more, head on over to the full piece!:

Bond Girl: Re-Watching and Re-Evaluating Diamonds Are Forever

Feel free to tweet me or comment with your thoughts! And hey, stay posted for a special list where I rank Sean Connery’s official James Bond appearances and talk about the good, the bad, and the WTF-ery inherent in his films!

Pending Posts: James Bond

"Dr No trailer" by Danjaq and United Artists - Dr. No trailer. Licensed under PD-Pre1978 via Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dr_No_trailer.jpg#/media/File:Dr_No_trailer.jpg
“Dr No trailer” by Danjaq and United Artists – Dr. No trailer. Licensed under PD-Pre1978 via Wikipedia – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dr_No_trailer.jpg#/media/File:Dr_No_trailer.jpg

I’m not the most organized person on the planet, not even close. I’ve been having a hard time settling my posts on this blog (or even remembering to update the blog, to be honest) but I’ve got some things in the works for posts.

So for my few but awesome readers out there, there are several things that you all get to look forward to if you like James Bond and if you like my writing.

I’m so excited! I have a schedule and everything!Read More »