Near the 21st, tumblr user ororomunroedontpullout (re)posted about how annoying it was to see (primarily white) fans use “ACAB” to talk about people they consider “fancops” – which can and often does explicitly include people of color talking about racism in fandom. (This is something I also find particularly infuriating, as you know.)

One of the fandom-brained responses they got? Phoenix-kin-home sending them the following message:

Genuinely, if you can’t understand how being driven out of online spaces where one finds community and friends, especially if they struggle to irl, can be harmful to people, then I don’t know how to convince you. I hope you have a nice week, and realize why you’re wrong.

Ororomunroedontpullout handled it well. She pointed out both that what that user describes isn’t police brutality and, once the user came back to moan about “the actual issue”, that the real issue that they’re talking about is that people harassing you on the internet is not the same as police brutality.

Anyway, that user’s comment made me think about something. They mention that “being driven out of online spaces where one finds community and friends […] can be harmful to people”.

But Black people are consistently alienated in and forced out of fandom, and no one gives a shit.

Take what I’ve gone through for example: I have been driven off of all but one or two single social media platforms I use. I’m on BlueSky because I hope that people blocking me will mean they do not try to engage with me. I’m on TikTok because it’s surprisingly peaceful. But people have spent years going out of their way to stalk and harass me and make it clear that fandom isn’t for me.

Even Dreamwidth, which I’d been using for over a decade, became a space that was unsafe for me thanks to co-creator Rahaeli dredging up and doubling down on false accusations that painted me as a racist harasser last year.

I may be the most visible Black fan receiving this treatment, but I’m not the only one.

Black people in fandom are not treated as real fans and our struggles do not count to fandom.

It’s only when “antis” are attacking us for our filthy art or “proshippers” are harassing us for complaining about a trope, that people stop and think that what’s happening to us is wrong.

And even then, it’s only in service of their particular angle. No one stops to think that we get an outsized portion of harassment in fandom because we’re Black and often speak about the racism we experience in fandom.

Black people are consistently subject to horrific treatment in fandom that leads to us leaving fandom spaces altogether.

We are subject to slurs, harassment campaigns, trolls, rumors, bullying, and beyond. We are explicitly and implicitly told that these spaces aren’t for us so if we’re not quiet, if we try to claim any portion of fandom for ourselves and our skinfolk… we should GTFO or else.

And then, we are told that none of what these people do to us counts as racism. People demand proof from us about what people do to us and how it makes us feel… and then they tell us that we don’t recognize racism. That we don’t know what antiblackness is.

I say all this to say, that phoenix-kin-home isn’t an abnormality in fandom.

Most non-Black people in queerandfeminist fandom don’t put Black fans on the same level as themselves. What happens to them is a fandom hate crime. What happens to us is justified. What happens to them is wrong. We must have done something to justify the hate and harassment.

We deserve it.

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Tumblr user tododeku-or-bust recently sourced and collected eighty examples of fandom antiblackness from people across Tumblr. What tododeku-or-bust collected, what Black fans shared, are examples of the every day forms of antiblackness aimed at Black fans in different fandoms. They range from (people bringing up) things that happened to or were done to me to slurs being used towards people just for the crime of calling out whitewashing or creating pro-Black spaces.

These things are normal in fandom.

It’s normal to stalk Black fans for years because they had an opinion you dislike.

It’s normal to send Black fans slurs because they talk about cultural appropriation in K-pop.

It’s normal to call Black fans fascists, fancops, bullies, etc for talking about antiblackness in fandom even when we use the mildest of tones.

It’s normal to lie about Black fans in your fandoms to get people angry at them and view them as racists or abusers.

It’s normal to tell Black cosplayers that they’re the “Black version” of the character or that they’re a fake fan.

It’s normal to tell Black K-pop fans how stupid they are because the idols “won’t ever want you”.

It’s normal to misrepresent concerns about antiblackness in fandom as fandom policing.

It’s normal to run Black fans out of fandom.

Expected even.

Of the Black fans I was friends with a decade ago, the only ones who are still active? Largely turned their backs on other Black fans and decided to be apolitical or entered the fight against racism in fandom on the side of racism. Being Black, being proud of that, and speaking about what is normal in fandom spaces? Not as sustainable.

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Fandom is unsafe for me.

It’s unsafe in measurable ways as many people have publicly expressed a wish to harm me, tried to get me fired from my job, and actively contributed to a steep decline in my mental health. Amber Goldsmith continues to show no remorse for falsely accusing me of stalking in an attempt to get me arrested over Star Wars fandom crimes. I currently do not plan to go to any conferences or conventions because I don’t actually know when someone will decide to take their grudge into meatspace and actually try to physically harm me.

While some of what’s been done to me in the name of freedom in fandom is extreme… it’s also something that no one called out. It’s also something that was justified because my Blackness made it easy and welcome to paint me as a violent beast. If you watch the news ever and see how Black people are made monstrous to justify their murders… you’ll understand that the same thread holds it together there.

And fandom is also unsafe for Black fans beyond me. Something that’s scarier because being cruel to a (relative) public figure is A Thing… but these are regular people who are just trying to create and consume in fandom. They’re being told that these spaces aren’t for them and that they should regret ever trying to make these spaces their own. They’re punished for wanting fandom to live up to the progressiveness everyone else puts on it.

If you do nothing else: read Ice’s list and think about the fact that this is what people do to Black folks in fandom.

Think about how your Black friends – actual, not tokens – are often really reluctant to come off private or talk about racism with any kind of heat. Think about how there are next to no Black BNFs on the level of the most popular person in your fandom. Think about how few Black people can get book deals in and famous for fandom the way white fans do. Think about how few Black people get opportunities in fandom. Think about how it’s hard to stick around in fandom spaces when you’re told that one thing you cannot change about yourself – your Blackness – is what makes you an outsider.

And do better.