Written by Zina Hutton

“You’re cute for a Black girl.”

Talk about a backhanded compliment.

I’ve heard it from strangers. I’ve heard it from friends. I’ve even heard it from people I’ve dated. Well, that and the always unasked for “I’ve dated a Black girl before” (as if I care about their dating history or as if their love life erases any racism that they’ve perpetuated in the past.) It’s something that every single Black woman has gotten in their lives no matter who they date or form friendships with, tossed around offhandedly as if the speaker is doing them a favor. It’s said to Black women without provocation because on some weird level, it’s supposed to be something positive, but I hate it. It’s right up there with “You’re not like other Black people” on the list of most uncomfortable things that people say all the time.

How exactly…