This year is actually… my seventh anniversary. If you’re surprised, don’t be. The passage of time has always been a struggle for me and numbers have always been… complicated for me.
Every year I talk about how big a struggle the past year has been and blah blah blah but this year, let’s try something new despite everything weird and bad happening in my life. Let’s try focusing on good stuff, hyping myself up, and manifesting cool shit for the rest of the year.
Let’s be… mostly positive.
In 2022 so far I have already interviewed two incredible celebrities. One you know (Kaci Walfall) and one that’s not out yet but once it is… wow you’re gonna shout alongside me. I have published like 35 thousand words on my site alone across nineteen posts (not including this one). I am incredibly talented and brilliant and cute.
And we should celebrate that and want good things for me.
Right now, I’m preparing for a BTS concert. No, I’m not cool, rich or Near Korea enough to be going to their Permission to Dance in Seoul concert in person – and I’m not lucky enough to be going to the Vegas ones next month. However, I will be watching the streamed concerts for the shows on the 10th and the 13th with the most important people in my life: the niecelings.
Yes, all of them.
I love doing BTS things in a group. In December, I was in LA at prime BTS time and among the BTS-related things I got to do, one of the best was hanging in my friend Lala’s apartment with her roommate and little sister and watching a streamed BTS concert as it happened several miles away from us.
Watching PTD in Seoul, seeing BTS finally get to perform in front of Korean ARMY (and some residents who aren’t Korean, of course) for the first time since the pandemic, is going to be great. I’m so excited for them! They deserve this. But I’m also so excited to drink coffee with my babies early in the morning and scream my way through my favorite songs with my favorite artists playing on a medium-sized screen… while dressed in one pair of my BTS pajamas maybe?
Beyond that, I just… I have plans to take it easy on myself.
I plan to watch more TV this year and read more manga. I’ve got two stacks of manga to go through this month and both Shin Godzilla and Repo: The Genetic Opera to rewatch. I’m going to finally finish The Untamed. I want to spend more time talking about what I love, rather than what annoys or bother me. And I’m gonna do that!
Also, let’s talk about some manifesting: in 2022, one of my biggest personal goals is obviously to just have a good time despite how bad-weird my life has been so far this year. I wound up being a minor public figure because the haters are so very loud, but really, I’m just a small fish. I am a goldfish in a tank and I’d like to be fed the yummy stuff! Let me be fed. Let me lounge and have good things happen to me –
But also let me work! In 2022, I am manifesting more opportunities. I would like to be assigned stories. I want editors to come to be like “hey this would be perfect for you, can you write it”. I want it to be interviews with celebrities like Moonbyul (MAMAMOO), Jessi, Zendaya (again but longer), BTS (but especially rapline because as you all know, I have intense rap opinions I want to chat with them about). I want to talk to and about Nora Lum (Awkwafina), Jay Park, and of course, my tall beautiful goddess Megan Thee Stallion. I am good at talking to people because I am nosy and charming. I want to write more about celebrities and music and less about fandom! I want to do music coverage on the regular and actually get paid to have opinions about pop culture beyond their fandoms.
Make it happen, someone. PLEASE. I would be such an AWESOME staff writer somewhere!
I also want to have the time to write more fiction that I love.
Like my romance novel(s). And Florida Omegaverse. On that second thing, it doesn’t matter if no one else loves those stories as much as I do, because I have this intense obsession with my own story and working on my worldbuilding. (Because I’m actively working on making Florida Omegaverse a fully trans-inclusive world so the fantasy isn’t exclusive and other people can, if they want, play in my sandbox without feeling like they have to do too much work.)
I am actively manifesting a 2022 where I remember that I can only control the controllable. But I also am manifesting a 2022 where I enter bitch mode shamelessly. A lot of the people I deal with online? They wouldn’t say the shit they say to or about me to my face if we were online… but I would say everything I want to say to them to their faces. So, I am manifesting a backbone for myself. And I aim to slap people with it actually.
Everything has been wildly, comically bad and weird for a while… but also, even though there’s stuff I can’t control (like my dad’s health, getting a Real Job, or getting invoices cleared in a timely fashion and more writing opportunities) I can control some of this.
I can ignore people who are being a pain. I can ask for help when things get tough or when I don’t know the answer to something. There are cases where I can ignore harassment – I was harassed twice this year so far by fandoms I am not even in and wasn’t really talking about and I bet you don’t know what they were because I kept my mouth shut. I can control how much I write and where it goes. I can eat vegetables sometimes! I can control my relationships and my boundaries and aside from the week leading up to my period, I can even communicate effectively without wanting to Red Lantern rage vomit everywhere at the slightest inconvenience. I can control how I use my time and who gets to eat it up!
The people who read my work in good faith and with an interest in applying what they can to their own fandom experiences – and who do push back or offer cool criticisms – I’m always so grateful to them. To you . I can’t promise that I’ll be around next year, much less another seven years, but I do promise that I will always write about fandom and media in a way that will showcase my ongoing growth, but ultimately stay truthful to myself and what I believe in.
I’ll take 2022 one month at a time.
Thank you all for sticking around this long.